


come heavy of a golden hue

by summerandmazes13



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe - America, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, SKAM, Skam France - Freeform, Skam Season 3, alternative universe, elu - Freeform, i don’t know where i’m gonna go with this story tbh, idk how to say it’s unfinished but it’s unfinished
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-03
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-04 04:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18336068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerandmazes13/pseuds/summerandmazes13
Summary: Eliott wants to paints constellations on his eyelids. He wants to map out all his veins on the world’s largest murals, all the hidden crevices and gateways within his body. Eliott feels fire within him when he's with Lucas, rapid and intolerable, and his body can't handle it. He's so deeply enamored with him, all his flaws and his perfections, and he can't believe that this is his reality. He can't believe that just four months ago, they were strangers, viewing each other from a distance, over the barren landscapes of a stupid hallway. This is infinity. This is love, this is love, and he wants to scream it from every rooftop in the city.or, the soulmate au that no one asked for





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> set in america because it’s easier for me.  
> complete credit to magneticwave, because i was completely inspired by her larry au!!  
> ALSO IT’S CONFUSING RN COS I’M NOT DONE YET I’M SORRY

The next time he bumps into him in the hallways, he swears it’s just a coincidence. The papers in his hand go flying all over the floor and, alright, it could have helped if Elliott knew the limitations of his own strength. 

“Ah,” he says with a touch of panic but mixed with undertones of cool for a good first impression. “Your papers.”

“Thank you,” the beautiful blue-eyed boy replies. “I hadn’t noticed.”

Elliott feels the color rushing to his cheeks as he bends down to help the other gather up his belongings. He definitely does not make an extra effort to view the name on his wrist. Not at all, not at all, not at all-

The sleeve of his jacket is pushed up as their hands brush and, ah. 

“Oh,” he says softly.

The boy grabs his last paper and lifts his gaze to meet Eliott’s. “What?” 

“I’m... Eliott,” he answers.

A pause.

“Oh,” the other replies with wide eyes, and this is everything Eliott could ever dream for or wish for. It’s what he’s been fantasizing since he first ran into this boy on his first day of school in this same hallway. One glance was all it took to spark fires of curiosity in Eliott. Such a large personality in such a small, lean body, the loud laugh bouncing off the corners of the walls, the elegance of his gestures, the tilt of his mouth, how much he stood out from his friends. They were nothing in comparison to the glow of his skin. They belong together, he can feel it. Fate agrees, fate agrees, it’s written in the stars - 

“No.” 

The boy cuts his pleasant thoughts off abruptly. He lifts up his sleeve to give Eliott a better look at the name and Eliott’s next breath catches in his throat. In the harsh brightness of the lights and the slant of his wrist it’s revealed that the “Eliott” displayed on that golden expanse of skin, while close to his handwriting, isn’t quite the same. And it’s gray. It’s gray. 

“It faded when I was like, five,” the boy tells him. “I never met him. I don’t know how he...”

Eliott can’t do anything but stare. He lets out an “oh” to match the other’s and tries hard to mask the disappointment in his voice. “I- Maybe-“ 

“Lucas.” He replies, pulling down his sleeve, and matching Eliott’s gaze head-on. “Does your wrist say Lucas?” 

Eliott hesitates just a beat too long. 

“Yeah.” Lucas gives him a pitiful smile, and this isn’t how Eliott’s first time making him smile was pictured in his head. “I’m really sorry about that. It’s nice to meet you, Eliott.” 

And then suddenly the golden boy is stepping around him and away, away, away. The hallways are empty and the clamor has died down and the golden boy is walking away from him once more, just like the first day of school, replaying on an endless loop over and over and over again. 

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His empty flat shouldn’t be as overwhelmingly hollow as it is right now, but he feels such an odd weight of crushing sadness that it’s close enough to consume him.

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The next times he sees him is at the bus stop. 

It’s his first time using this bus stop to go home, but ever since he had moved here he’s been walking home and his legs were getting tired. Eliott’s glad that today of all days was the day his legs decided to give up on him. 

He doesn’t creep up on him, but Lucas seems like a naturally energetic, jittery kind of boy so his sudden presence startles him anyway. 

“Hi, Lucas,” he says, and the other boy jumps. His eyes drag down Eliott’s body and back to his eyes, and a smile graces his beautiful features. 

“Hey. Not my soulmate,” Lucas retaliates jokingly.

It shouldn’t hurt as much as it does, but the sting that Eliott feels sends cold flashes all over. 

Eliott gives him a small smile back that takes everything in him to return. The eye contact they hold for a while feels powerful, and in reality is probably only a couple seconds. But when he’s with him, he feels as if time is infinite. 

“You’re older, right?” Lucas asks him suddenly. “I’m only in the third year, I can’t buy beer.” 

Eliott raises his eyebrows. Odd conversation starter, but he’ll take anything this golden boy gives him and run with it if it means spending more time graced with his precense. “Yeah. Fourth year.” 

They hold eye contact for a bit. “Can you...” Lucas starts, then pauses. His eyes flick to Eliott’s, then down to the floor as if he’s embarrassed. “Can you buy me beer?” 

Eliott smiles because Lucas is adorable. “I don’t have money,” he replies. Lucas physically deflates and he has to let out a laugh. “But you can come to mine. I’ve got plenty of beer I’ll let you have. I’ve got an extreme excess for some reason. Moving presents.” He talks to much. 

The eye contact is unbearable. He can’t do this without kissing Lucas all over, the wide expanse of clear, unmarked golden skin that graces his face. He needs something to happen, for a black hole to open up under him and swallow him whole so he never has to deal with stupid feelings again. 

The bus comes. He gets up and motions for Lucas to follow him. “Are you coming?” 

Lucas smirks and seems to ponder his decisions. Go home with no beer or follow a complete stranger into his apartment. He shrugs and follows Eliott. Eliott likes to think it’s a risk and a win for both of them. 

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“Ah but see, the theory makes you feel better. It’s like if you don’t accomplish something in this life, one of your alternate you’s is accomplishing that same thing in another universe. It helps me not feel so small.” 

They’re lying on the living room carpet high off of their asses. They’d got to Eliott’s apartment, drank a couple of beers, and smoked a few joints. A couple of joints. A lot of joints. Eliott doesn’t know how they got into this position, but he absolutely loves it. His apartment had been so hollow yesterday. Now, with the golden boy next to him, he doesn’t feel so lonely anymore. Lucas belongs here. He belongs with Eliott, Eliott would take such good care of him.

“You are pretty small,” Elliot says and Lucas shoots him an unimpressed look. Eliott laughs then whispers back, “I would think it makes you feel even smaller. Like, who am I, how am I important, if there’s a billion other me’s doing way cooler things?” 

Lucas shifts onto his side to look at Eliott. Eliott holds his breath and does the same thing. They’re facing each other now, completely vulnerable and so, so close. Eliott is swimming in pools of beautiful, deep blue. He wants to kiss him so bad.

The record he had put on earlier has ended. The soft static of the still-running player fills every corner of the room. 

“That’s a really pessimistic way to think though,” Lucas says with a smirk. 

“No, I think it’s realistic.” Eliott shoots back. 

“You’re special in your own way.” 

Eliott smiles. “You are too.“ 

It’s the most intimate moment he’s ever felt in his life. 

“Even if you’re small,” he adds.

Lucas scoffs. “Oh, fuck off. I’m literally average height for my ethnicity.” 

“I didn’t know 4’11” was an average height-”

Lucas jabs him in the stomach. Eliott’s eyes widen. He reaches over and does what he’s been wanting to do all evening: touch. He jabs Lucas right back.

“No, wait,” Lucas tries to scramble away, “I’m ticklish.” 

Eliott lunges forward and starts jabbing his stomach, his neck, anywhere he can reach. And sure he’s tickling Lucas but it’s just an excuse, a facade, he just wants to touch and he finally gets to. He’ll bite, he’ll always bite. 

They’re flailing around on the floor and Lucas is absolutely losing it. “Stop... please...” He’s pushing Eliott’s hands away but his laughs are melodic to his ears and he can’t stop. “Ow, ow, ow stop... stop!” 

And then Lucas has grabbed his wrists and Eliott is basically on top of him, staring down at him, and it shouldn’t be as hot as it is but Eliott feels where they’re touching everywhere. They’re both struggling to catch their breaths and Lucas is still giggling, but Eliott is lost in his eyes.

Later on Lucas will have to go home because his roommate needs him, and later on it’ll take everything in Eliott to not plant a huge kiss on him at the door, holding the gift of a new six-pack of beer. He never found out why Lucas needed it and he doesn’t care. Later on Eliott will stop him before he leaves and pretend to fix his hair, but it’s actually just one more excuse to touch, and it’ll take everything in him to resist the urge to just give Lucas what he deserves, what Eliott deserves. Later on he’ll lie in bed and trace Lucas over and over again on his right wrist, wishing and praying that fate could be reversed, that life was different, that he lived in one of those parallel universes Lucas was talking about. 

Because in that moment, he remembers that his wrist doesn’t say Lucas. And in that moment, with a beautiful boy beneath him, he desperately wishes it did.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls tell me if you’re enjoying so far i thrive on constructive criticism and also have no idea what i’m doing

Lucille is safe. Lucille has known Eliott since he was in grade school and aided him when he struggled with putting together a basic, color-coordinated outfit for the first day of sixth grade. Lucille makes him laugh, Lucille has seen what makes Eliott cry, Lucille knows his ups and downs and his insides and outs. Lucille is his best friend.

The name on Eliott’s wrist is Lucille.

He’s never told her, and he’s done a pretty good job of hiding the name whenever he’s around her. When he’s around anyone, actually. He has his grandfather’s watch that he never takes off, a worn golden piece with a black leather strap, shielding the ink away from any wandering eyes. And he basically wears the same brown jacket on a day-to-day basis, whenever he’s out in public, long-sleeved and hiding everything that needs to be hid.

They hang out often, almost every weekend since he had announced that he was moving, shopping or catching a film or driving around town, and she’s never once seen the name on his wrist. And Eliott’s never once seen the name on hers, because she shares his tactic of wrist accessories and long-sleeves, but he knows what‘s written there. He’s seen enough of Lucille’s name being written on the top of her school documents to know that the handwriting is exactly what’s on his own wrist.

The thing is, he’s heard stories of indiviuals meeting their soulmates and experiencing fireworks within them upon their first eye contact, experiencing revelations and feelings they’ve never felt before. His friends from his old school had described it as instantaneously falling head over heels, so in love that you weren’t able to breathe without the other person, that they’re constantly on you’re mind, that you’d do anything and everything for that person.

Maybe it’s because Eliott’s known Lucille for such a long time, but the fact that he feels nothing of those sorts when he’s with her terrifies him to no end. Sure, when they joke about the lack of his fashion sense that stems from the mundane nature of constantly wearing the same brown jacket every season that he swears is just a tactic to ease his anxiety and appease his dissent for change, he has fun. When they listen to his dubstep tunes until four am, screaming on the floor and referencing indie movies they both love, he feels the most himself. When they’re laughing about how Lucille makes Eliott wait to eat his food at restaurants because she just has to post every shared meal on Instagram or Snapchat, he doesn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. But they’re soulmates. They’re soulmates, and there’s something missing.

They’re soulmates, but they’re not.

They’re not, and Eliott has seen too many happily matched couples to not notice the fact that it’s not the same.

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“Hey, I’m Daphne, are you new?”

It’s break. Eliott pauses at his locker after putting his statistics notebook away and slowly turns his head to the source of the voice. The girl is cute and blonde and reminds him of a bunny. She’s got a huge smile on her face and seems really excited to talk to him. It’s nice. Eliott already likes her.

“Yeah,” he smiles at her and shuts his locker, then leans against it to face her. “I’m Eliott.”

“Where are you from?” She continues.

“Ah, North Green High. Just got my own flat.”

Her face lights up. “That is so cool! You live all by yourself? No, it’s cool, but that’s so scary. So lonely. Where’s your parents?”

Eliott feels his face heat up and he has to glance down to the floor. “Mm, back at North Green.”

“Why’d you move?” Daphne asks and Eliott still likes her, but now this conversation needs to end-

“Hey, Eliott.”

He turns in surprise and smiles at the beautiful boy’s entrance.

“Hey, Daphne,” Lucas says but his eyes are still on Eliott’s and there’s a small smile on his lips.

“Hey, Lucas,” Eliott greets him back softly. It’s intimate.

“Lucas!” Daphne exclaims, cutting into their moment. “You know Eliott! You have never once mentioned this cool new senior! I love him already!”

Lucas gives him a cheeky grin. “I wanted to keep him all to myself,” he shoots at Daphne, and Eliott’s insides get all warm. He can’t tolerate it any longer and he has to touch, so he playfully shoves at Lucas’ shoulder.

Daphne claps her hands together to bring the attention back to her. “Anyways! I, am having a party this Saturday! A birthday thing for Emma. Lucas, your Emma. And you’re totally invited! Bring as many seniors as you want, we want it to be big. We’re trying to help people find their, their...” She trails off and motions towards Eliott’s wrist, purposely covered by his watch and jacket sleeve.

His eyes widen and Lucas scoffs. “Daphy, that’s not- Er, we talked about boundaries.”

Eliott’s eyes instinctively flicker towards her wrist, but its covered up by her pink cardigan.

“Emma?” Eliott inquires causally and quietly, trying to bring the conversation away from soulmates but also. Lucas apparently has an Emma.

“Best friend from grade school,” Lucas says, and then he’s giving Eliott a knowing smirk.

Daphne claps her hands again. “Sorry if that was out of line, Eliott. But come! Both of you! It’s at 8, Emma’s house! Lucas will send you the address. But now I’ve got to go. Nice meeting you, Eliott! Hopefully you’ll meet your soulmate this Friday! You deserve happiness! We all do!”

Daphne skips away and Eliott raises his eyebrows at Lucas. “What a character!” He exclaims.

They’re finally alone together once more.

Well, as alone as one can get in a semi-crowded high school hallway, but it doesn’t matter, because the boy in front of him is the only thing that does.

“You grow to love her. I’ve known her since grade school.”

“Ah,” Eliott replies. “Like Emma.”

Lucas raises his eyebrows and his smirk gets wider. “Like Emma,” he affirms.

Eliott looks down to the floor then back to blue eyes shyly. “So are you gonna go? This Saturday?”

Lucas leans on the lockers in front of him. “Hmm,” he responds playfully, “are you?”

“Hmm.” Eliott fiddles with his backpack strap. “I suppose so. Eliott number thirty-four wouldn’t, so I feel like I have this extreme calling to make up for his stupidity. I think it’s my duty.”

Lucas laughs, and the bell rings. Eliott could listen to him laugh for hours. “I guess I’ll see you Saturday then, Eliott number twenty-seven.”

“I’ll see you Saturday then, Lucas number forty-three.”

Eliott watches his retreating back for a couple of minutes. Event the way he walks is adorable. He wants to fold Lucas up and stick him in his pocket. It’s weird for him to be this enamored so early on, but Eliott has always been one to fall fast. Boy, is he falling.

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In sixth grade, Eliott had a friend named Charley who met his soulmate Abigail when she moved to their school from Texas in the middle of October. Charley had seen her on the playground and been so drawn to her that he shoved her off the slide to get her attention. Charley underestimated the height at which they both were on the slide and ended up fracturing her wrist because she fell so hard. The wrist she fractured had a smudged and slightly wavered Charley on it, but it was still as black and shiny as it ever could have been. They were matched.

Once Eliott and Charely got to high school, when they’d skip class to go smoke in Charley’s red pick-up truck, Charley would tell him that he did it because he felt as if he would explode if Abigail didn’t notice him right there and then. When he laid eyes on her, every single thing in his body felt immediately drawn to her, and it was like every other person on that playground faded into the background. The clamor and chaos that elementary school recess was composed of faded into incomprehensible static. Nothing compared to the beauty she so effortlessly radiated. It was warmness and a bucket of ice cold water all at once, he said. Fighting against it was useless, because no matter how overwhelming and foreign the feeling was, it felt good. It felt good because he was finally able to realize that nothing else mattered. It felt good because he was finally able to realize that he was on this Earth for her. It was good, it was great, it was amazing, it was phenomenal, it was mind-blowing.

And then Charley would proudly display the ‘Abigail’ on his wrist for years to come after that incident on the playground. Eliott would see glimpses of it with every high five, with every study session, with every game of beer pong. Charley and Abigail were the inseparable it couple of North Green, the cheerleader and the football player, the couple that had matched in sixth grade and were set for life. The couple that embodied everything soulmates should be.

And for years to come, Charley would try to get Eliott to take off his watch to swim, to sleep, to dance, to party. He’d try to trick Eliott into saying her name, into mentioning if he knew her yet or not, what letter the name started with, if their names rhymed. And for years to come, Eliott never took off his watch, never told a single person the name.

Eliott should feel fireworks with Lucille. He should feel the warmness and the bucket of ice cold water, the tingles all around and the desperate urgency to be by her side all day, all week, all year. He’s known Lucille for seven years and feels nothing but a beautiful friendship.

He’s known Lucas for about two weeks and feels like he can’t breathe without him.

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It’s 8:39 pm on Saturday night and Eliott is staring at his outfit in his bedroom’s full size mirror. He’s wearing black jeans and a black t-shirt. His watch fits in nicely because his outfit is totally colorful, ha. He tousles his hair a couple more times and shakes it out. He needs to get it to that perfectly messy, sexy bed-head state. There’s a specific art to men’s hair, he swears it.

Eliott opens his phone once again to see if Lucas had texted him back. Lucas had followed him on Instagram and DM’ed him the address on Instagram, and then they had a short conversation about what to wear.

‘ _But red heels would complement my dress the best_ ,’ was the last thing Lucas had said at 8 pm, to which Eliott had replied, ‘ _you’d make any color work_.’

Subtlety was never a close friend of his.

Eliott definitely did not spend the entire day with his homework untouched, lying in bed stalking Lucas’ feed. He had thought it was impossible for his affection to grow, but grow it did. Immensely.

His feed was composed of some stupid memes that definitely did not make him laugh, a couple of pictures with a friend named Yann, someone who seemed to be Lucas’ only friend. A girl that he figures out is Emma, who appears to be dating Yann. A cute video of them together that he definitely doesn’t watch on repeat about a thousand times. They form an adorable trio. Eliott’s desperation to turn it into a quartet should be more alarming to him than it actually is.

He leaves his flat at 8:47 and drives to the address Lucas provided for him using his phone’s GPS. He’d learned by sophomore year that being fashionably late to a party was what helped quell his anxiousness the most. Avoiding the difficult challenge of the party beginning’s meaningless small talk and responsibility of being the one to get the party started is the only way he can handle these things.

Eliott parks on the curb a couple houses down, and he’s happy to see that the party seems to be pretty well under way. He can hear the music from here and wonders how angry the neighbors are going to be by the end of the night.

He passes couples making out and drinking on the lawn on his way to the front door, and once he finds the door unlocked, he slips in.

It’s crowded and the music’s volume increases about ten-fold once his feet touch hardwood floors. There’s teenagers in the living room jumping up and down to it, a game of beer pong going on in the kitchen, and wow, there are a lot of couples making out around him. He wonder how many of them are matched, and how many of them actually care. He wonders where he can get a drink.

Eliott wanders into the kitchen slowly, hands deep in the pocket of his jeans and awkwardly keeping his head down. He really has met no one since the first day of school. Well, he met Elaine, his physics partner, but she really doesn’t seem like the type of individual to frequent these things. She’s mousy and pretty bookish. Eliott wonders how she is, if she’s eating enough. He vows to get to know her more once he returns to school

He finally finds the drinks and pours himself a red solo cup of beer ( _‘what an absolute cliche,’ he thinks to himself_ ) and starts looking around. He moves into the hallway, making sure he to keep his eyes traveling to see if he can spot Daphne or Lucas, or if he can even recognize Yann or Emma from the pictures.

“Is that you, Eliott?” He hears a familiar voice say, and he smiles when his eyes land on Daphne.

“Ah, you came! I was afraid you wouldn’t show up!” Daphne cries, and she pulls Eliott in for a huge hug. He’s taken extremely off guard at first, but Daphne’s energy is contagious, so he can’t help but hug her back.

“This is Emma and Manon,” she shouts in his ear over the music, and then motions to two pretty brunette girls next to her. He shakes both of their hands and introduces himself.

“Your house is gorgeous,” he tells Emma.

“It’s gonna be gorgeously trashed by the end of the night,” she sighs back and Eliott can’t help but laugh.

“Have you seen Lucas?” He asks Daphne, and she shrugs back.

“Have you found your soulmate?” She asks back, and Eliott chokes on his sip of beer. He’s not drunk enough for this.

“No, uh,” he backs up. “I’m gonna get more drinks and dance!” He excuses himself, then rushes back to the kitchen and downs about two more glasses of beer. A random athlete (he can tell by the jersey) sitting on the counter next go him with diving goggles on his head whistles.

“Slow down there, cowboy!” He calls. “You’ll find ‘em eventually!”

Fuck soulmates, he thinks to himself as he downs his third glass.

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He finds Lucas in the living room talking to a girl. She’s cute. She’s got bangs. She’s wearing a tight dress.

There’s at least fifty people in the closed off living room area, all packed closely together. The scene dangerously resembles too close to that of a club, but he’s not surprised because Emma’s house is pretty grand and definitely able to fit this many people.

Lucas and the girl are on the couch and they’re leaning in to each other, but at least they’re not touching. At least, at least, at least, that’s what he’s trying to tell himself, but he still feels really fucking jealous.

He jumps over the back of the couch and plops himself down right between Lucas and a couple on his left making out. What an abnormality.

“Hey!” He says cheerfully, and Lucas whips his head around with wide, surprised eyes until recognition settles in.

“Eliott! You came!” He exclaims, and then Eliott can’t help it, he gives Lucas a hug. He’s drunk, but drunk actions are sober thoughts anyways. Or something. Lucas hugs him back, and that’s all that matters.

“You’re not wearing the heels! Or the dress!” Elliot says as he unwillingly retracts his arms, and Lucas bursts out laughing.

“Fuck! I guess they were still in the laundry,” he jokes back.

“I’ve never heard of someone putting shoes in the laundry before,” Eliott answers, and Lucas shoves at his shoulders and is laughing like Eliott’s just told the funniest joke in the world. Lucas is definitely drunk as well, maybe even more than Eliott is. He’s a lot more loose and touchy. It’s a good look on him.

With smugness, Eliott sees the girl Lucas was talking to get up and leave out of the corner of his eye. Lucas doesn’t seem to notice and keeps talking to Eliott. “I still tried to look nice though. Do I? Look at my outfit.”

Eliott shamelessly leans back and checks him out, eyes dragging down and taking in his blue button up and black jeans, and his ever so perfect wild hair. Lucas pouts up at him, and he’s all furrowed eyebrows and shiny pink lips and big blue eyes. He grabs at the front of Eliott’s t-shirt and pulls. “Do I?”

Eliott is literally going to pounce on him right then and there. He holds himself back with the thinnest string of self-control he can muster in his extremely drunken state. Everything about Lucas is so hot, hot, hot, and he’s making Eliott feel things he’s never felt before. Eliott knows there’s boundaries they shouldn’t cross, knows that this is dangerous territory because soulmates are a thing, hello, but he doesn’t care at this moment because this boy is absolutely breath-taking.

“Always, always so beautiful,” Eliott tells him earnestly, and Lucas blushes hard. He drops his hand and then his head, looking at the floor.

In about half a second, his head whips up as the song changes. “I love this song! We have to dance!” And then Lucas is grabbing the wrist without his watch and tugging him into the center of the dance floor.

Elitot’s laughing as Lucas pulls off some stupid, trendy dance moves, making an absolute fool of himself but still looking extremely adorable in doing so. Eliott finds every single thing he does so funny, and he can only jump up and down for a couple seconds before Lucas makes a face or twists his body just so, sending Eliott into another fit of giggles.

Lucas has grabbed his hands and they’re jumping up and down together when the upbeat song switches into another one that’s more racey, one that’s dirtier. It’s a grinding song, and Lucas is looking deep into Eliott’s eyes and biting his lip, and it’s more than enough of an invitation.

Still holding his hands, Eliott slowly guides Lucas into turning around to the tune of the song, then slides his hands down his sides to Lucas’ waist. They’re swaying to the song as Eliott pulls Lucas closer to him, pulls him flush up against his torso so their bodies are touching everywhere, his front to Lucas’ back. Lucas leans back into him, and Eliott meets him halfway as they move their hips together, agonizingly piercing and full of passion. He’s leaning his forehead onto Lucas’ head and nosing into his hair. And then Lucas’ head is pushing back to rest on his shoulder, his arm coming up to cradle Eliott’s head, the other coming to rest on top of Eliott’s hand on his own waist, and turning his nose into Eliott’s neck. Eliott can feel Lucas’ breath on his neck, can feel as Lucas’ hands tangle into Eliott’s hair as their hips continue to move to the beat of the song, increasingly harder. It’s dirty and it’s sexy, and the friction is amazing, but there’s so much emotion and intimacy in every movement that Eliott feels like he’s going to explode. No matter how many people are dancing around them, in that moment, he feels like they’re the only people left on Earth.

And then he feels something on his neck, and he nearly moans when he realizes that it’s Lucas’ tongue, that Lucas is licking stripes onto his neck. He doesn’t know how to handle it, he needs more, he wants more, and he’s about to turn his head to finally kiss Lucas when-

The music shuts off abruptly, the lights are switched on, and the two boys immediately retract from each other. Eliott feels cold without him.

“Police!” He hears a voice that sounds a lot like Emma’s scream. “This is not a drill, PD, PD, PD, out, everyone, out, out!”

Chaos erupts as teenagers immediately start rushing out of the living room and out of the house. Eliott sees some of them jump out of windows and throw open the back patio door to sprint out into the backyard. He looks around wildly and realizes that he’s lost Lucas.

He runs into the kitchen and doesn’t find him there, then wanders around a couple more rooms before finding him in the hallway. He looks just as lost as Eliott feels, so Eliott grabs his shirt and pulls him out the door. Lucas looks at him with wide eyes, and then they both burst out laughing as they sprint down the street just as they hear sirens approaching from the other side.

“I’ll drive you home.” Elliot says as they stop at his car, and Lucas bites his lip as their eyes meet across the hood.

“Okay.”

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  
-  
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

They pull up to Lucas’ house and Eliott stops the engine.

“This is where I live,” Lucas says, and they both look out the window at his modest Mediterranean two-story.

“I love it,” Eliott replies, and Lucas chuckles in response.

“That was a lot of fun,” Lucas tells him, turning to Eliott and ever so slightly leaning on the arm rest.

“So much fun,” Eliott whispers back, matching Lucas and leaning towards him ever so slightly as well.

“Gotta do it again soon.” Lucas keeps leaning in.

“Totally.” Eliott’s eyes flicker from Lucas’ lips and back up to his eyes. Open, vulnerable, unguarded. Eliott could search them for years and still never uncover every secret of the universe, but making progress on infinity outweighs taking no action at all.

He can feel Lucas’ breath on his lips, and they’re so close, and now it’s finally going to happen -

There’s a harsh rap on the window door. They both jump and pull away quickly. Eliott turns to see the source of the knock and sees an elderly man frowning in disapproval. Eliott rolls down the window.

“You can’t park here for a make out session, damn it. You’re blocking their driveway. It’s 2 AM. Go to bed.”

“Sorry, sir, won’t happen again,” Eliott replies. The elderly man scoffs and continues walking.

Eliott turns back to Lucas, but the moment has passed, and Lucas is already opening the door.

“I’ve got curfew. I’ll see you at school, Eliott number thirty-seven.”

“Bye, Lucas number fifty-eight.”

The car door slams shut. Eliott shuts his eyes and leans back against the driver’s seat and stays there for about five minutes to collect himself.

That night, he dreams of golden breaths, delicate touches, and passionate love.

He wakes up and imagines a parallel universe where an Eliott and Lucas are matched.

He showers the night away and feels nothing but jealousy for them.


	3. three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> vendredi 20:27 is my favorite scene in the entire skam remake universe and i hope i did it justice.
> 
> i apologize for grammar mistakes and such, i honestly just wanted to get this up because i’m excited lol i hope you guys are liking it so far

He gets a DM from Lucas the next morning. Eliott rubs sleep from his eyes and props himself up to slouch against his headboard, swiping his phone unlocked to read the message.

 

‘ _It_ _was_ _cool_ _last_ _night_... _Do_ _you_ _have_ _any_ _plans_ _this_ _afternoon_?’

 

Eliott can’t help the smile that takes over his face. He loves how Lucas is reaching out to him, making the first move, trying to plan something. It affirms the fact that he maybe, just maybe, felt as much as he did last night.

 

‘ _Yeah_ , _it_ _was_ _nice_ _yesterday_!’ He texts back. Eliott’s just about to ask when and where they should meet up when he remembers. Ah, he’d made plans with Lucille today.

 

He feels crushed and really, really sad, but he’s not going to be an asshole to Lucille and flake out on the college football game they’d bought tickets to a month before. He actually has been looking forward to the game for a really long time. And he hasn’t seen Lucille in a while. Lucille’s his soulmate. He should want to hang out with her.

 

‘ _But not available today, sorry. See you on Monday_.’

 

Eliott sighs and lets his phone fall onto his chest. Another day, then.

 

He has fun with Lucille. The game starts at one, and when he pulls up to the front Lucille’s house to pick her up, she skips down the driveway and twirls at the end. She slides, ever so gracefully into the passenger seat. Eliott holds a special sort of admiration for her, but it’s one a younger brother would hold for his older sister. He steals glances at her the entire way to the stadium, and he takes the time to truly revel in her beauty and positive radiation. Lucille is absolutely lovely.

 

They park a ways off from the stadium and race to the entrance. They buy matching spirit wear hats and spend more time making up life stories for strangers than actually watching the game. Lucille tells Eliott about her new art project at North Green, how she’s joined the school newspaper and is thinking about trying out for the softball team. She tells him that Charley and her aren’t the same without him and his stupid doodles and puns. She tells him that without Eliott there to laugh at every single one of their jokes, they don’t feel funny anymore, and punch lines fall flat more often than not. Eliott tells her about his insanely intelligent physics partner, about how only the lame kids sit in the cafeteria, and how much cleaner the bathrooms are. He tells her it hasn’t been easy making friends and he misses the comfort of lunches on the ledge of the window in front of Mr. Elsburry’s classroom, talking about nothing and everything all at once.

 

He buys her popcorn and a slushie and they laugh when Lucille spills it all over their seats and their shoes. He goes home and still smells the sticky blue raspberry on his hands, tries hard to wash the blue stains from his white shoes. He really had fun. He enjoys his time with Lucille. 

 

He really misses Lucas.

 

-

 

School on Monday is too much of an overpacked whirlwind for him to even think about Lucas. He has to spend his lunch in the counselor’s office, taking placement tests and discussing college, how his credits from North Green High will transfer over to count towards his graduation requirements here. After school, he’s roped into finishing his project with Elaine for an hour.

 

Tuesday morning, Daphne follows him on Instagram and sends him a DM.

 

“ _Do_ _you_ _mind_ _helping_ _me_ _paint_ _a_ _mural_ _tomorrow_ _for_ _the_ _soulmate_ _banquet_ _we’re_ _hosting_ _next_ _week?_ _I’ve_ _heard_ _you’re_ _into_ _art_ _and_ _stuff_!”

 

Eliott stops brushing his teeth, and as the toothbrush hangs from his mouth, he replies, ‘ _Sure_ , _I’ll_ _be_ _there_!’

 

He doesn’t see Lucas all morning and spends his lunch in his statistics teacher’s classroom, getting help on a lesson he can’t quite seem to understand. When he’s walking out, he runs into Daphne. Not literally.

 

“Eliott!” She cries, pulling him into a quick but warm embrace. “How did you enjoy the party on Friday?”

 

Eliott can’t help but smile back at her. “I loved it. Had loads of fun.”

 

He worries she’s gonna say something about him dancing with Lucas.

 

“You know Lucas, right?”

 

Oh, fuck. He’s sweating now. “Yes.”

 

“Ah! Remember the mural I talked about?”

 

He swallows. “Yes.”

 

“Cool! Lucas offered to help as well, so that task is all up to you guys,” Daphne says. She doesn’t seem to notice Eliott wiping his damp palms on his jeans, but he guesses it’s a win, then. “The soulmate banquet’s just gonna be a small gathering in the cafeteria where we have brunch, discuss the importance of soulmates, and have a silent auction with a bunch of donated goodie baskets from teachers and parents to raise money for the National Matching Aid Society. We’re gonna use this mural for our photo backdrop, so we want you guys starting on it as soon as possible to finish it fast! What time are you free tomorrow?”

 

Eliott blanches. Daphne talks really fast.

 

“Uh, after school. Three?”

 

“Perfect!” Daphne squeals. “Thank you so, so much for doing this Eliott. It really does mean a lot. Do me a favor and text that info to Lucas? Thank you! Supplies will be on the cafeteria stage. Lucas will know where the paint is. Thank you! Have a good rest of your day! You’re amazing!”

 

The bell rings and Daphne skips off.

 

While he walks to his next class, he shoots Lucas a DM.

 

‘ _Daphne_ _told_ _me_ _you_ _wanted_ _to_ _help_ _for_ _the_ _mural_.’

 

He sits at his desk and shoots Lucas another one. ‘ _That’s cool!_   _Tomorrow?_ _At_ _3?’_

 

Lucas answers almost immediately. ‘ _Yeah_ , _totally!_ ’

 

Eliott shuts his phone off and smiles toward the whiteboard. It’s a date, then.

 

-

 

On Wednesday morning he drops his phone in the toilet and Lucille is at his door having a panic attack.

 

They spend the day at his flat with Eliott keeping a close eye on her; she’s wrapped up in his bed, crying into his pillow and moaning into the blanket. She’s having bursts of shaking fits, and all Eliott can do is try to hold her and shush her softly, petting her hair and making sure she knows he’s there.

 

When she falls asleep he stays by her side and studies for his history test. When she wakes up, he gives her soup and a cold towel to help with the sweating fits. The day passes fast, and soon it’s night time.

 

Lucille wakes from a particularly long sleeping fit and she turns to face Eliott. Her beautiful face is still stained with tears, but she seems a lot more calm now.

 

“Thank you, Eliott.” She whispers.

 

He drops her off back at home that night, only after demanding to know what had happened and if it was even safe for her to return. Lucille had insisted to him she would be fine and that she couldn’t be the reason he missed anymore school. She didn’t tell him anything else. Lucille throws her arms around him in the passenger seat.

 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She kisses his cheek and then she’s gone.

 

Eliott realizes he’s fucked up the minute he’s in bed.

 

-

 

Eliott sees Lucas the next day in the hallway, rummaging through his locker. After he takes note of where his locker is, (west wing, near the left staircase) he gives himself a short mental pep talk, wipes his damp hands on his jeans, and approaches him.

 

“Hey,” he says. Lucas turns his head slowly to look up at him through his lashes. He looks extremely disappointed.

 

Eliott has to break the eye contact to escape the heaviness of his gaze. “I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I really wanted to come, but I had a problem. I’m sorry.”

 

Lucas continues to stare.

 

“And I... dropped my phone in the toilet.”

 

He gets a smile out of Lucas with that one.

 

“You’re stupid,” Lucas chuckles, and Eliott wants him to laugh at everything he says for the rest of eternity.

 

“Yeah. To make up for it, do you want to come over tomorrow? We can smoke and drink again... write stories for what our parallel selves are doing.”

 

Lucas smiles and laughs again at that, but then his smile quickly drops. “I... I can’t. I’m babysitting my little cousin at the fair tomorrow.”

 

Eliott’s eyebrows furrow. “What fair?”

 

Lucas looks at him. “The school fair.” He looks to the wall opposite of them. Eliott follows his eyes and ah, there’s the poster. “NORTH GREEN HIGH’S ANNUAL SCHOOL FAIR!” It reads in bold, yellow print.

 

He turns back to Lucas and raises his eyebrows.

 

“Come with me, though,” Lucas offers. “It’s actually really fun. And you’ll like my cousin, she’s cute.”

 

Eliott doesn’t see why he shouldn’t. He’s not going to be alone with Lucas, like he was the first time, but he’s never been one to take opportunities like this for granted. “Sure,” he answers. “Text me the details and I’ll be there. Bye, Lucas twenty-four.”

 

Lucas scoffs, “See you tomorrow, Eliott eighteen.”

 

-

 

6pm on Friday night is pulling up to the school’s parking lot and seeing lights all over North Green’s grassy fields. Bright neon pinks, yellows, and oranges fill the scene and illuminate the dark sky. There’s booths everywhere, with an assortment of games and prizes, food trucks lining the field’s edge and rides placed sporadically throughout. Eliott sees the Ferris wheel, the carousel, the bungee jumps. There’s laughter and upbeat music everywhere, and Eliott takes a deep breathe before stepping forward and taking the plunge.

 

He pays the $20 entrance fee and is immediately overwhelmed upon stepping into the scene. The otherwise sedentary, plain football field is full of life and color, and everywhere he turns, there’s a new sight to take in. His eyes scan over a dart-balloon throwing game, a ring toss game, a hammer-strength game. Eliott wanders alongside each of them, watching with a smile as he observes families splurging money on attempts to win their kids a shiny new teddy bear displayed on the walls high above their heads.

 

“You’re borderline creepy,” a voice whispers behind him, dangerously close to his ear, and he quickly whips around to see the source. He laughs when he’s met with Lucas’ baby blues, and he gives the other boy a quick once over. He looks good in his grey pullover and blue jeans, his hair just as wild and as perfect as it always is.

 

It was easy to soak up Lucille’s beauty because that was all it was: simplistic, pure beauty, through and through.

 

As he regards Lucas with a fond smile, he realizes that soaking up Lucas’ beauty is hard. It’s hard because it’s overwhelming, and Eliott can only truly understand the art of this boy in small doses before edging dangerously close to intolerable. And it’s because Lucas’ beauty is urethral but wild, exotic but unpredictable, alluring and adorable and sexy all at once. Lucas brings out the best in Eliott, and the desire to be with him constantly is getting stronger the longer he’s without him. He’d missed him so much this entire week. He doesn’t know if the pain he feels is an effect of that realization or if its an effect of the overwhelming guilt he feels stemming from the throbbing in his right wrist.

 

“I missed you a lot,” he says, and Lucas is smiling wide, wide, and is about to say something back before-

 

“You are the tallest person in the entire universe!”

 

Eliott’s eyebrows raise and he looks down to locate the source of the new voice. The resemblance to Lucas is absolutely uncanny, her enormous blue eyes and small stature mirroring his perfectly. Her blonde pigtails bounce up and down as she tries to reach for Eliott’s head.

 

Lucas shushes her and then pulls her close to his side. “Eliott, this is Ivy. Ivy, this is Eliott. He’s a friend.”

 

Eliott meets his eyes and tries to hold his own ground. That truly is all he ever will be.

 

Eliott follows Lucas around as Ivy drags him from game to game, forcing Lucas to constantly reach into his pockets to pay for just one more turn after one more turn after one more turn. It’s endearing to see how effortless their relationship is, how Lucas seems to emanate light around Ivy, how easy it is for him to give into her wants and appease her. They periodically make eye contact across her head and smile, and then Lucas is back to laughing at another one of Ivy’s outrageous demand. Eliott can’t help but feel as if this is exactly where he belongs.

 

They’re at the photography display booth when things start going downhill.

 

“Eliott!” A voice exclaims and shit, fuck, shit, that voice is too familiar, it’s too familiar, and this can’t be happening, this can’t be happening-

 

He turns and Lucille is giving him a bone crushing hug.

 

He has no time to react before Lucille is withdrawing and turning to give Lucas a smile as she links her arm through Eliott’s. “Hi! I’m Lucille.” She extends a hand toward him.

 

Lucas’ eyes seem to pierce daggers through where their arms are linked, but maybe that’s just Eliott’s wishful thinking. “Lucas,” he introduces himself briskly, and shakes Lucille’s hand without quite making eye contact.

 

“Why are you here, Lucille?” Eliott asks pleasantly without trying to sound too hostile. He still cares for Lucille, but this is not how the night was supposed to go at all.

 

“They had posters for this thing all over our school. I thought I’d come surprise you, since you broke your phone and everything. I really missed you. And thanks for Wednesday, once more. I can’t thank you enough.”

 

This is bad. This is two worlds colliding, and it’s definitely a glitch in the matrix and a black hole will definitely open up beneath him and swallow him whole soon. He wasn’t really thinking about what this moment would be like, his soulmate and his potential but pretty-much-already there love of his life finally meeting. But it’s so much worse than he could’ve ever imagined, because now he’s looking at Lucas and Lucas just looks so hurt and devastated, and Eliott can only imagine what he’s thinking, why Eliott couldn’t meet him on Wednesday, if Eliott was lying, if Lucas even means anything to Eliott.

 

Yes, he wants to scream. Yes, yes, yes, you’re my priority right now and hopefully for forever.

 

Lucas introduces Ivy to Lucille and tells them that her parents are going to be by to pick her up in about an hour. He tells them that she wants to go home with a ton of prizes and a full dinner in her belly.

 

They spend the next hour going from game to game, and it seems as if Ivy and Lucille have really hit it off. They’re joking around and encouraging each other at every game, and now Lucille is paying for a majority of the turns. Lucas and Eliott are trailing behind them, silently and awkwardly.

 

“I’m sorry,” Eliott says first. “This night wasn’t supposed to go like this.”

 

“Go like what?” Lucas inquires, and Eliott sighs.

 

“I thought it would just be us two. Like the first time.” He turns his head to search Lucas’ eyes. “Didn’t you?”

 

Lucas is quiet for a beat before he nods.

 

Eliott turns back to glance at Lucille and Ivy. They’re at some sort of racing game where you have to try to get balls in holes to make your character move faster. They’re sitting down and seem to be seriously discussing game strategy.

 

“Let’s get out of here,” Eliott tells Lucas, and Lucas’ eyes widen at him.

 

“What, right now?” He asks, and Eliott nods hard. He’s never been so sure of a course of action before in his life.

 

“Lucille’s a good person, she’ll take care of Ivy. I promise. They can enjoy each other before her parents come.”

 

Eliott’s searching Lucas’ eyes again, and Lucas must read the desperation and urgency in his own because he smiles, and then he’s nodding.

 

Eliott grabs his jacket and then they’re running, running, running. Away from reality and into a dimension not bound by any boundaries or rules or traditions. It’s just them as they pass the carousel, as they pass the Ferris wheel and the bumper cars. It’s just them once they reach the gardens behind the football field and it’s just them as they jump the fence into the woods and it’s just them as they slow down once they’ve ran upstream just enough. They take out their phones to use as flashlights and they can’t stop laughing about the whole dilemma together.

 

“I’m a fucking wild child,” Lucas says enthusiastically, and Eliott bursts out laughing.

 

“No, you’re cringey,” he replies, and Lucas elbows his side.

 

“Let me feel like a true high school kid from the 80’s, dude,” Lucas whines. “I’m Ferris Beuller, I’m Gordie Lachance.”

 

“Who are those people?”

 

Lucas’ head whips to him with furrowed eyebrows and a dropped jaw. “You’re telling me you’ve never heard of Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Stand By Me? From the greatest era of movies of all time?”

 

Eliott shrugs his shoulder and shakes his head slowly.

 

Lucas scoffs in disbelief. “Well, we’re watching them together someday, then.”

 

Eliott smiles. “Oh, yeah?”

 

“Oh yeah. It’s a date.”

 

Eliott bites his lip. “Just the two of us this time?” He asks.

 

Lucas grins back. “Just the two of us this time,” he affirms softly.

 

Then Lucas stops suddenly and exhales a soft, “Oh,” and Eliott just has to follow his line of vision to see what has quite literally stopped Lucas in his tracks and-

 

Oh. Oh indeed. The bridge is beautiful and it’s massive, and the stream had petered off a little ways behind them, but the concrete structure looms over both of them, ivy tangling up its sides and flowers surrounding the terrain outside of it. The graffitied walls contribute to the character of the bridge, and the atmosphere that surrounds it is so warm that it’s intimate.

 

He sees Lucas’ face of awe and pushes him toward the bridge. Lucas stumbles in after him and Eliott has to laugh. He takes advantage of Lucas’ bewilderedness to grab the phone out of his hand and hold the flashlight up to his face.

 

“Welcome to my home,” Eliott jokes. “I come here whenever I’m alone.”

 

Lucas goes along with it smoothly without missing a beat. “You’ve taken a person somewhere you like being alone.”

 

Eliott laughs. “Yeah, well, this time it’s special. You’re the first person I’ve ever welcomed.”

 

Lucas exhales a breath. “Not even Lucille?” He asks.

 

Eliott smiles. “The first.”

 

He’s walking slowly around Lucas now, trying to corner him, trying to play a game. He comes close to him, close to his ear and says, “Do you like it? Or are you afraid?” Eliott feels giddy with energy, with the desires to impress and keep Lucas’ attention solely to himself. He has so much excited energy that he’s acting stupid.

 

Lucas scoffs. “Me? Afraid? Never. Not afraid.”

 

“Not afraid?” Eliott repeats.

 

“Not afraid,” Lucas affirms.

 

Eliott shuts off the light. He quietly but quickly backs up toward the other side of the bridge, struggling to stifle laughs as he goes.

 

“Eliott?” Lucas calls, and Eliott is about to lose it.

 

He waits a beat before turning the light on again. Lucas whips around to make eye contact, and then they’re both laughing at each other like love-stricken fools.

 

“You were definitely scared,” Eliott remarks, and Lucas shakes his head in disbelief.

 

“Not at all! You’re making assumptions!”

 

“You looked like a lost kid in a grocery store,” Eliott says. “You were scared.”

 

“Oh, please. Not at all.”

 

Eliott smirks. “Okay.” He looks down to the floor and shrugs. “I still won’t do it anymore, just because you look scared.”

 

Lucas smiles. “Oh? How generous.”

 

Eliott turns the light off.

 

“Oh fuck, Eliott.” Lucas looks wildly around the bridge. “Okay, fine. Maybe a little scared.”

 

Eliott turns it on and he’s right in front of Lucas. He’s smiling because it’s all still a joke to him, but suddenly Lucas’ eyes are half-lidded and they’re flickering from Eliott’s lips back to his eyes. Then Eliott’s leaning in, and he watches as Lucas’ eyes slip close, as he anticipates the kiss that’s long overdue-

 

Eliott turns the light off.

 

Lucas lets out a breath. “Elliot,” he calls once more.

 

And then Lucas turns and he finally sees Eliott, a little ways off, barely outside the exit of under the bridge, under the shining moonlight. Eliott extends his arms and shrugs, then drops them.

 

Lucas makes his way over to him, agonizingly slow.

 

Eliott can’t wipe the stupid grin off of his face because he’s been imagining being alone with this boy again for weeks.

 

“What?” He asks Lucas’ hesitant face. “Are you still scared?”

 

The way Lucas is looking at him is completely unnerving, like he’s laying everything on the table but being cautious all at once.

 

“I want to kiss you,” Lucas whispers.

 

Eliott’s eyes widen. He’s searching Lucas’.

 

“Then do it,” he whispers back.

 

Their lips finally come crashing together, and the world fades away.

 

Eliott’s hands come up to cradle Lucas’ face, and he can feel Lucas’ own come up to grasp his waist, and it’s- it’s finally happening, finally, finally, finally. He gives his all into the kiss, the desperation, the pining, the urgency he’d been feeling for so long. Eliott loves how Lucas’ small body melts into his, how their lips fit together like two puzzle pieces, pieces that had been lost from each other for years. The kiss is so long overdue, and the satisfaction it brings forth is extreme, unimaginable, otherworldly.

 

As his lips move against the other boy’s, open-mouthed and sensual, fireworks explode within him. He‘s unstoppable when he‘s kissing this boy, it’s a high he can never stop craving, it’s everything he’s ever dreamed of and more. His hands can’t stop moving, can’t stop touching every expanse of skin this boy has to offer. Eliott wraps his arms around his neck, then moves to grasp his hair, then back to cradle his face. He can’t choose his favorite place because they all are. This boy as a whole is his favorite place, and he’ll take anything he has to offer.

 

They break from each other and lean their foreheads together, and Eliott knows he’s smiling like an absolute idiot, but when he peers into the blue eyes of Lucas’, searching and wondering, he can see that his smile is mirrored. It’s a smile of relief, of the alleviation of pain, of satisfaction and awe all together in one. Eliott laughs as he looks at him, but Lucas is shaking his head in disbelief and his smile never leaves his face once.

 

Their lips meet again, and Eliott’s hands come up to rest below Lucas’ ears, his thumbs caressing his cheeks as their lips move as one unit. Lucas runs his fingers down Eliott’s spine, pulling him closer until there‘s no space left between them. They’re so close he can feel Lucas’ beating heart against his chest.Lucas tastes like caramel and honey, like a drug he can’t get rid of, like a quest he needs to conquer, like a shot of liquor that he’ll never stop chasing. But most of all, he feels like home.

 

They pull apart once more and Eliott looks up to the stars and the moon, and he can’t help but laugh again, and he’s smiling so wide it hurts his face. He looks back down as Lucas’ arms circle his waist and pull him into a hug, burrowing his nose into Eliott’s neck. Eliott throws his arms around Lucas and pulls him close, and in that moment, he vows to never let him go again.

 

In that moment, he swears they’re infinite.


	4. four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhh shit goes down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, i hope you’re enjoying so far. i don’t want this fic to be too long so i’m trying to figure out what parts of the true story i wanna cut out. it’s yet to be determined.

Eliott takes him back to his apartment that same night, and Lucas keeps leaning across the center console to kiss Eliott’s face all over. Eliott can’t wipe the stupid grin off his face, and he keeps shoving Lucas off, complaining about how he can’t distract him and how he needs to focus on the road. They’re laughing like fools and he’s on top of the world.

They fall into bed together, with their pants immediately coming off, snuggling under the covers and laughing and laughing, giddy with each other’s presence and dizzy with the newness of it all, of all the endless future possibilities. They’re too exhausted to do much, and sleep eventually overtakes both of them.

- 

All morning they make out on his bed. They lie face to face, and Eliott continues to find that he literally can not keep his hands off of Lucas. He’s cradling his face, touching his hair, stroking down his sides, pulling at his waist to get him closer and closer. He can’t get enough of him. And their mouths, one unit as they should be. Every time their tongues touch it’s an explosion of technicolor behind his eyelids.

They pull apart and Lucas kisses his nose, and Eliott is gone, gone, gone for this boy.

Lucas is on his stomach with his head on Eliott’s chest, and Eliott‘s found a joint for them to share in his nightstand.

“What’d you think of me, the first time we talked? When you ran right into me and broke all my bones,” Lucas asks softly, blowing out smoke.

Eliott chuckles, then ponders it for a moment. “I thought, this guy, for sure, he’s afraid of the dark.”

Lucas laughs and reaches up to push Eliott’s jaw closed. “I’m not afraid of the dark, fuck you.”

Eliott moves his jaw out of the way. He answers seriously, “The first time we met, I thought, I’m not even sorry for running into him. Because I finally get to talk to this beautiful boy with the ocean blue eyes. I’d run into you before, you know. On my first day here. But you didn’t see me.” 

He feels Lucas slowly shake his head on his chest.

“But I saw you.” A pause. “I only saw you, actually.”

Lucas doesn’t say anything, but he grips Eliott’s shirt and snuggles in closer, and it’s more than saying anything at all.

A couple more shared hits of the joint with Eliott drawing circles on his back, and Lucas asks in a breath, “What would you have done if I didn’t come to school that day? Or if I‘d have taken a different route?” 

Eliott takes the joint from him. “Probably would have spent the entire year stalking you,” he replies and Lucas laughs.

“I’ll admit it’s scary,” he continues. “But spending your life wondering about the ‘what if’s’ is pointless, and it’s an endless cycle. All you have to do is live life to the fullest and take the roads less traveled.” 

Lucas looks up at him. “Wise words for a Saturday morning.”

Eliott smiles. “How many of your parallel Eliott’s and Lucas’s are together right now?”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

Lucas squints and seems to seriously ponder the question. “Let’s see...”

 

- 

 

Light breaths as shirts are pulled off.

“There’s an Eliott and a Lucas in Mexico right now, riding horses on the beach and eating real, authentic tacos from street vendors.”

A trail of kisses down toned stomachs.

 “There’s an Eliott and a Lucas on an Alaskan cruise ship, throwing all their money away in a casino and relaxing in the hot tub.”

 Laughs exchanged as elbows knock.

 “An Eliott and a Lucas at Disneyland, taking cheesy pictures in front of the castle and faking a proposal to get views on Instagram.”

 Pleased sounds of content as hands run through soft locks of hair.

 “An Eliott and a Lucas having a picnic on top of the empire state building, bird-watching and enjoying the sunset.”

 A delicate exhale as a hand runs down an exposed spine.

 “And what if that Eliott and Lucas are contemplating jumping off, down into the void?”

 The explosion of warmth as hands find each other under sheets.

 “But that’s so morbid.”

 Soft smiles as eyes searching deep into each other’s souls continuously meet again and again.

 “Do you never think about these kinds of things?”

 A flutter of eyelashes resulting from overwhelming waves of pleasure as mouths linger on necks.

 “I told you, I don’t really believe in that kind of stuff.”

 An arched back and a palm on a bare chest as lips meet again, and again, and again.

 “But you’re wrong. You’re wrong because it’s true, and I’m telling you, there are a ton of other Lucases and Eliott’s that are together right now, in this very moment.”

 Eliott admires Lucas’ beauty and tries not to think about how dangerously fast he’s falling.

 

-

 

“It’s going to taste amazing, I swear,” Eliott pulls ingredients out of his fridge after forcing Lucas to stay put on the counter. “Just sit there and look pretty.”

 Hunger had eventually driven them out of their safe haven and into the kitchen, where Eliott had demanded to treat Lucas like a king and serve brunch for both of them.

 He stands between Lucas’ legs and gives him a short but sweet kiss, then goes back to putting together his meal.

 It’s a sort of scrambled egg concoction that he himself enjoys on the daily, but once Lucas takes a bite of it, he’s gagging into the sink.

 “Oh, shut up,” Eliott says, laughing so hard he feels like he’s gonna bust a rib.

 “You can’t cook,” Lucas replies decisively, and then they’re wrestling in the kitchen in no time flat.

 If it ends in a make-out session on the cold tile of his kitchen floor, well. No one needs to know.

 

 

-

 

They sit on the balcony with cups of hot chocolate, cuddled close with legs tangled on a colorful crocheted blanket that Charley had given Eliott four years ago on his birthday.

 They watch people walk by on the street down below and make up life stories for each of them, a game that Eliott enthusiastically suggested they play.

 “The man with the fedora,” Eliott says, and Lucas’ face scrunches up.

 “He’s here on vacation from Bali,” Lucas starts. “His daughter’s ran away from the hotel room to hang out with the bellhop boy. His wife’s had one too many margaritas and is passed out in bed. He’s trying to find Alyssa, but her phone’s shut off so he can’t see her location. Smart girl.”

 Eliott cackles. “Alyssa?”

 “A girl I knew from grade school.” He smiles, then motions with his chin. “That girl. Holding hands with that guy in the button up.”

 “The honeymoon phase. He’s a doctor from Miami, and she’s a college student studying film from Alaska. They’re polar opposites, but they bond over their shared love for spicy ramen and reality tv shows.”

 Lucas asks, “What do they binge-watch the most?”

 “Oh, the Bachelor. Easy.”

 Lucas takes a breath, then says softly, “I wonder if they’re matched.”

 Eliott hesitates.

 “They’re not. But they’re so in love that it doesn’t matter.”

 Lucas doesn’t meet his eyes, and silence takes over in their little corner of the world. Eliott takes a long, long sip of his hot chocolate.

 

-

 

They watch Ferris Bueller’s Day Off on his living room television, and Eliott sits back on his reclining couch with Lucas between the v of his legs, leaning against his chest with his head resting on his shoulder.

 Lucas’ hands are on his own stomach, and Eliott’s are encompassing them from the top, admiring how their fingers slide together perfectly time and time again. He’s rubbing circles onto the back of his hand.

 Eliott swears he tries to focus on the movie, but he keeps getting distracted by the urge to kiss down the long expanse of Lucas’ exposed neck, and then Lucas will turn his head to meet him halfway, and, well. It’s history from there.

 

-

 

It’s dark out now, and they’re laying on his living room floor again, face to face, sharing the same air with their souls in sync.

 They’re quiet, searching each other’s eyes for a long, long time.

 He reaches forward to brush a strand of hair out of Lucas’ eyes. And then Lucas is grabbing his arm and looking at his wrist.

 “Lucille,” he reads.

 Eliott snatches his arm back as if he had been burnt.

 “Your watch came off after we ate.”

 Eliott jolts up and looks down to his wrist, and sure enough, there’s the word ‘Lucille,’ written in her flowy, looping print, prominent and dark and extremely visible. He wonders how long Lucas had been looking at it, realizes he hadn’t even noticed because he’d been enjoying Lucas’ company so much. It burns like it’s been branded on him instead of just showing up when he turned eight like the rest of the world, and there’s a tightness in his throat that makes his breath shaky when he thinks of its permanence. It feels like his world is crashing down. He had been at peace with the marking all his life, but at this moment, he wishes he could run to the kitchen sink and scrub it off with a sponge and some soap. He keeps staring at it to avoid Lucas’ eyes.

 Lucas, who stays lying down on the floor on his side, tells him, “It’s okay. We knew from the start.”

 Eliott swallows, unconsciously rubbing wrist frantically with his other hand. “What are you saying?”

 “I’m saying my soul mate is dead and you deserve to be happy with the person you belong with.”

 It hits Eliott so hard that he can’t even find the words to respond. He backtracks for a while before coming up with a pathetic, “I belong with you.”

 Lucas is sitting up now and he’s backing up to look at Eliott directly. They’re barely on opposite sides of his cramped living room, but to Eliott, it feels like an entire ocean is between them.

 “We kiss and spend a day together, and you think that we’ve suddenly changed fate?”

 Eliott blinks. “I don’t- I don’t know what you want me to say. I’ve never felt anything with Lucille even remotely close to what I feel when I’m with you.” He’s laying his heart on the line and he needs Lucas to take it because he wants to offer him everything he has.

 Lucas is sitting with his knees to his chest, arms wrapped around them and he keeps looking at his hands, opening and closing them. He’s getting defensive now, walls coming up, and Eliott can clearly see them. Lucas rubs his mark with his thumb, and Eliott can only look on helplessly.

 “Do your parents know she’s your soul mate?” Lucas asks, meeting Eliott’s eyes.

 A beat. “Yeah. They do.”

 Lucas looks back down. “They want you to be with her already, don’t they?”

 “I’m my own person. It doesn’t matter what they want.”

 Eliott gets up and runs to his kitchen, shifting through the ingredients left on the counter until he finds his watch. He walks back and struggles to put it back on at the same time, hiding the mark once more, and he finds Lucas in the exact position he left him.

 Eliott gets on his knees in front of Lucas and grabs his face, forcing him to look up at him.

 “I really like you, Lucas. And I know what my wrist says, and I know that I don’t care. I know that I haven’t for years. Meeting you makes me feel alive in a way that I have never felt before.“

 Lucas pushes Eliott away and gets up. “That’s not fair. That’s not fair to Lucille and you know it, that’s a shit thing to do.”

 Eliott feels tears welling up in his eyes as he sees Lucas walk to his bedroom. “What are you doing?” He calls after him.

 “Getting my stuff. I don’t think this was a good idea.”

 It feels like a physical hand is grabbing at his heart and squeezing it. Eliott goes into his doorway and watches Lucas put his pants back on. “Lucas, what the fuck? Why are you acting like this now? After spending this entire day together?”

 “Because your mark isn’t my name, Eliott!” Lucas cries, whipping around wildly to meet Eliot’s eyes. “And mine isn’t you! And I’m not going to pretend like I can make this work without thinking you’ll leave me for who you really belong with at any second!”

 Eliott really feels the tears coming now and he feels pathetic. “Stop saying that,” he whispers.

 Lucas pulls his shirt on. “Saying what, Eliott?”

 “Who I really belong with. Why does a stupid marking on my wrist have to determine that? I know how I feel. Only I’m able to know that, why do we have to listen to whatever fate has to say? What if I want to control my own fate? What if my fate is being with you?”

 Lucas shoves past him into the hallway. “Stop being so naive, Eliott. 98% of unmatched relationships always end unhappily.”

 Eliott grabs Lucas’ wrist in the hallway. “We can be part of the other 2%, Lucas.”

 Lucas pulls away and opens the front door. “No, we can’t, Eliott.”

 Eliott knows his desperation his off the charts, but he follows Lucas out the door and down the hallway. “Lucas, please don’t go. Please, I’ll do anything.”

 He follows Lucas as he runs down the stairs. “It doesn’t matter what you do,” Lucas says, not looking back. “I’m never going to have a soul mate and you belong with Lucille.”

 Eliott catches him at the building’s entrance and grabs his wrist again. Lucas yelps in pain, and Eliott quickly lets go.

 “I know you’re feeling everything I am,” Eliott attempts, desperately searching Lucas’ eyes. He’s never felt this kind of urgency before, and for some reason, he thinks he won’t be able to breathe if Lucas goes. “You’re funny and kind, and so insightful and sharp and beautiful. There’s an attraction between us, and you can’t deny it. You’re drawn to me just as much as I am to you.”

 Lucas stares him down and exhales a hard breath.

 “I feel absolutely nothing when I’m with you, Eliott. This entire day? Meant nothing to me. I’m going to go home now, and I would really, really like it if you didn’t follow me.”

 As Lucas walks down the street, Eliott is so taken aback that he forgets how to move. He feels Lucas’ words echoing around his brain like a punch to the gut. His hands tremble as they come to cover his mouth, and he sinks to the floor as the sobs begin to escape his lips.

 Eliott realizes he’s locked out of his own apartment once he goes back upstairs, and he has to wait until his landlord arrives. He sits on the floor of his hallway and cries, and cries, and cries.

 After the landlord comes and unlocks his apartment, he goes into his kitchen, and suddenly he’s so overwhelmed with anger that he can only see red. He throws open his cabinet and throws the first plate he sees at the wall. Hearing the shrill shatter and seeing the sharp shards explode everywhere brings him immense satisfaction, so he does it again.

 He picks up a shard and exclaims as it cuts him, and in a second there’s a pool of dark red staining his hand. Eliott sinks to the floor, clutching his hand to his chest, tears running down his face uncontrollably. He can’t stop sobbing and now he’s drowning in his thoughts.

 He feels nothing for the girl he’s supposed to love and everything for the boy he’s not allowed to.


End file.
